Sheer exhaustion

I'm really lucky. I mean really, really lucky. I have two precious girls that I am blessed enough to stay at home with. Anyone who has kids knows that they grow all too fast and I'm so thankful that I get to witness all of the firsts and be here with them every day.

With that being said, today has been one of those days where I have almost walked out the door and gone back to work. I'll get over it once they're tucked away in bed.

When I was working full time I would dream about staying home. I had fantasies of long, leisurely strolls every day and reading while babies were peacefully napping. I was delusional. Truly delusional.

Instead, my days are jam packed with the constant sound of slamming pots and pans on the kitchen floor, temper tantrums at their best, dirty diapers, and spilled drinks. I do well to get our one-year-old down for a nap at all - a time that I usually take advantage of by taking a much- needed shower.

The afternoons are the worst. Trying to get supper ready and give baths to two exhausted girls is a task I have yet to master. Clearly, I'm still adjusting to staying at home. Often I feel like I do the same thing all day, every day - change a diaper, fix food, scrape said food (or play-doh, or glitter lipgloss, or melted crayons) off floor, repeat. Hopefully by the time they start school I'll have some sort of handle on the situation. But it's doubtful.

It's 7:30 p.m. and I am covered in peanut butter, sweet potatoes, and bath bubbles. It's the end of one of those "normal" days - the time of day where I realize how fulfilling my days truly are. My sweet girls are clean and have full tummies and a happy, albeit exhausted, mom. The other day my three-year-old randomly said, "Mommy, do you remember when you used to work ALL THE TIME? Well, I missed you then." That did it for me. I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Those leisurely strolls and long books will be there when my kids are grown, a time when I'm sure I'll miss that sweet sound of slamming pots and pans.